So, there I was, testing the...?

She immediately moved you out of the way. " You can't cook," she said. " What happened to your pants?", you said. " I don't need pants," she said. You nodded your head. " Get out of here Buk. I got company coming," she said. "Hey, you old buzzard! Get away from my noodles!" you said. " Bite me," she said. You looked around the kitchen and found a big frying pan in the corner. You immediately smacked her over the head sending her blue wig into the noodles. She fell to the floor. You pushed her out of the way and threw the wig out the window. Then you got your noodles and the lovely gifts she brought you and sat down for a great meal.